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Stuck in Widnes (To the Tune of Slade's Merry Christmas Ev'rybody)

My musical tribute to our dirty old town Are you hanging Johnny Rocco on yer wall? It’s the time when half of Ditton goes The Ball Did they burn a load of reindeers Up the Granox Christmas Day Do the Vikings ever really bloody play? So here we are Stuck in Widnes Ev’rybody’s looking glum We look down on Runcorn cos They’ve got no stadium Are you waiting for the coppers to arrive Did you wake up bollock naked down The Hive? Does your Granny always tell you That the market is the best Then she’s buying all her stuff from M&S So here we are Stuck in Widnes Ev’rybody’s looking glum We look down on Runcorn cos They’ve got no stadium What will Paddy do If he spots his wife in Albert’s Walkaround? A ha ha ha Are you hanging Johnny Rocco on yer wall? It’s the time that half of Ditton goes The Ball Did they burn a load of reindeers Up the Granox Christmas Day Do the Vikings ever really bloody play?