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Psychology Professor Explains Why Self-Compassion is Key | Kristin Neff on Women of Impact

Hey guys, Lisa here! If you didn’t already know, I am super frikin excited to share that I’m writing a book! To be the FIRST to get sneak peeks about my book and other exclusive content go to: http://lisabilyeu.com/ and be sure to sign up for my newsletter. Self-esteem has been a buzzword for what seems like forever, but as a goal or concept it has some big drawbacks. Self-esteem tends to be comparative and fragile, and provides a shaky foundation for healthy growth. So what should we replace self-esteem with? Dr. Kristin Neff, who has researched the subject for years, advocates for a better framework: self-compassion. And on this episode of Women of Impact with Lisa Bilyeu, Kristin Neff explains what self-compassion is, discusses the difference between self-compassion and self-pity, and asks us to treat ourselves with the same mindful, motivating kindness that we so easily bestow on other people. SHOW NOTES: What’s the difference between self-esteem and self-compassion? [2:20] Self-compassion does lead to self-worth, but that isn’t the end goal [6:05] Self-compassion is not self-pity, self-indulgence, selfishness or complacency [8:48] Why suppressing your pain actually makes it more intense [13:15] Be mindful. Remember that pain is part of life. Then, be kind. [15:36] Lisa and Kristin discuss the balance between compassion for others and the self [19:17] Why are we often harder on ourselves than we are on other people? [21:03] Kristin explains why it works to use compassionate touch on yourself [23:35] We need other people, but it’s not good to wholly rely on other people [27:13] Kristin discusses why it can be effective to talk about yourself in the 2nd person [29:21] Self-criticism comes from the desire to be safe. It’s misdirective care. [32:27] To come up with healthy methods of motivation, think about how you’d motivate a child [35:44] Sometimes kindness has to be a little bit fierce, like a Mama Bear [38:39] Kristin describes how compassion actually feels scary to someone used to abuse [40:06] You already know how to be compassionate. All you have to do is use it on yourself. [42:39] FOLLOW LISA: Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW FOLLOW KRISTIN: WEBSITE: https://self-compassion.org FACEBOOK:   / selfcompassion   TWITTER:   / self_compassion