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Godless Land

I feel like the Palestinian genocide has made me genuinely recognise this world's need for God. It's really eye-opening, knowing that this world is full of evil. Sin is real and it's as evil as it is devastating. Sin in our fast food, in our makeup products, sin is in our banks, sin is in our sweets. Sin is everywhere, but sin is also in our apathy. For every hundred-of-thousands of people who care, there are hundreds of people who don't care about evil because said evil gets them money but millions who don't care because they're just not interested. After all, it is God who brings us out of evil I feel like the Palestinian genocide has also made me question God's presence. I ended up wrestling with the infamous, aeons-old question: "If god good, why bad let". I'll put it like this. These past nine months, I've watched Palestinians plead to literally anyone that's not in the strip to make their torture end. To the hearing ears that their pleas fell on, they did think-pieces and protests and protest songs and, as of recent, a break-in to a weapons factory to help make the Palestinians' suffering end. I won't say it was to no avail but any help they got was only ever very little and hugely overshadowed by the next strip-wide tragedy. The Nasser Hospital massacre, the Flour Massacre, the ongoing Rafah massacre, the Nuseirat massacre - and before all of them, the destruction of every university and the devastation if not destruction of every hospital in the strip. Eventually, I started wondering "Surely, these pleas have landed on God's ears. Surely, he's going to do something of note to help these Palestinians... right?" I felt like Rose that one time in Doctor Who where she and the Doctor were watching a woman die and Rose says to the Doctor "help her" and he says "nah" and watches her die. Only in this case, I'm not sure if that "Doctor" even said anything. I'm not even sure if he's there. I've made this song in the meantime to vent about it. It came out in many different forms, but I realised quite soon in production that I wanted a dark-ambient-liminal theme to it. I wanted this song to describe a dystopia full of sad, tired people in a broken world, crying and pleading for someone or something to deliver them out of their tragedy. Like screaming into an endless void hoping that someone's in there. But like... cyberpunk of something. I ended up going with Musescore thanks to the Winter Felt piano soundfont I put together the other day. You're watching the base composition of song that I made in like a week or two. What you're listening to is the rest of it, put together in Reaper with extra instruments that I used in other non-Musescore project files. I'm beyond impressed with what I've done and I hope you enjoy your listen. Last month, I found a good, satisfactory answer to that question "If god good why bad let", but it's been difficult to take it to heart. I guess it's really difficult to build back trust, but if Palestinians on the scene of the disaster haven't lost faith in their God, who am I to lose faith in mine when I'm just watching.