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Depression, Family Drama & Suicidal Thoughts

This week Kati talks about dealing with depression and family obligations, how to deal with having past suicidal thoughts on your permanent record, and how to deal when going home causes us to revert back to an old version of ourselves. She also explains why anxiety can cause us to regress to a younger age, why positive emotions can be hard to accept and process, and how emotional neglect can affect us as we get older. Ask Kati Anything ep 196 audience questions: 1. I’m a 25 year old male and a HSP. I’ve been struggling with depression the last 3 years of Uni. As much as I would like to continue my studies, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to focus on anything. Despite my best efforts to concentrate on schoolwork, I experience mental blocks that persistently cloud my mind. I’ve talked with the school therapist without much progress... 2. Hi Kati, I have had “suicidal ideation” in my permanent chart since last year. I also have “chronic suicidality” written in there. I’m also on 6 psych meds just for MDD and anxiety. When I see new doctors, I’m worried they will not listen to my concerns about anything for the rest of my life due to my chart containing so much negative information. I still have suicidal ideation but not like that specific day I was hospitalized. This is the one reason I find having labels and a “current health issues” list so frustrating. What can I do to prevent doctors from writing me off? 3. I'm heading home from college soon for break, and I'm so not ready. It's like my family members are completely different people, and in a way my entire house feels like a weird alternate reality with strangers in it. I know this probably sounds dramatic because these people are my family and I have lived with them in that house for almost my entire life... 4. Is it normal to age regress during panic attacks or would this be something else? It’s hard to explain but I’ve been having what feel like panic attacks but I come out of it feeling and acting like a small child, seeking comfort from things like blankets and stuffed animals. This makes it feel more like a flashback but nothing during it would suggest that. 5. I was wondering why it is so hard for me to accept and process positive emotions. Last week was my birthday and my students were super excited and most brought a picture, handmade card, flowers, small gifts. My fellow teachers and staff were super nice and I was super uncomfortable with all that attention. Wanted to happy cry, but couldn't cry. Also I have had people come observe me multiple times and leave positive compliments and just can't accept that what they wrote is true. Am I the only one who suffers from this? 6. I grew up with parents who never comforted me as a child. There is not one memory I can recall where my parents held me or even just asked me how I was doing. As a 30 year old woman now, sympathy is nauseating to me. It physically feels like my skin crawls whenever someone expresses sympathy towards me. Even last year, when I experienced a pregnancy loss. Are these two things related? JOINING MY CHANNEL MEMBERSHIPS https://www.youtube.com/@Katimorton/m... MERCHANDISE https://spreadshop-admin.spreadshirt.... MY BOOKS (in stores now) Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? http://bit.ly/2s0mULy ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/kati PATREON https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morto... SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING HERE Instacart: https://www.instacart.oloiyb.net/y2j2GB Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney [email protected] PLEASE READ If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.