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I Looked In the Mirror

I Looked In The Mirror Ellen Sagh I looked in the mirror and I changed That girl was hurt by someone Her eyes are puffy As if she’s been crying Crying all night My heart is pounding And I can’t breathe My lower back is in pain As if I’m giving birth Images of growing up A basement and a bed My back it feels like it’s breaking The pain is shooting in my head My stomach – as if it’s distending Knotting up Wanting to release The pain that all along it’s been carrying For him, For him, For him if you please. I need to cry; cry out the pain Give it back to him and then I will gain My freedom back; independence too I’ll sleep again and not be a fool I won’t take every One at their word I won’t always Work so hard I won’t need a mask To hide behind I will know Who is kind I’ll be there always; Always for you I’ll play music; When you are blue I will take care of kids; And do all the rest I’m really trying; To do my best Deep inside; I can only cry I’m so tired; I want to die I am hurting; In endless pain Give me back; My sunshine again I want to smell the flowers; Walk in the rain Dream of someday going on a train Breath of life come back to me Keep me safe and I will see What when where who and why Did these things that make me cry 1996