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INFJs and Aging Narcissist Parents

INFJ personality types and INFP personality types frequently struggle with caregiving for an aging narcissist parent. This is a very difficult situation to be in with a close family member, especially a parent, because the INFJ or INFP must be in regular contact with the narcissist, and with all of their dysfunctional behavioral patterns. Added to this is the fact that, for most INFJ personality types and INFP personality types who grew up with a narcissistic parent, they have never felt truly seen or validated by the parent. This pattern of feeling dismissed, ignored, mocked, or shamed, only becomes stronger as the parent reaches old age. Narcissists are often arrested at a certain early stage of development, and they do not grow past that stage of emotional immaturity. As they age, the dysfunctional energy patterns they use to defensively protect their fragile egos become calcified, and their toxic personality traits become entrenched. This results in a deep sense of sorrow and disappointment for INFJ personality types and INFP personality types who are caretaking an aging narcissist parent, and still subconsciously wishing that things were different, and that the parent could see and value them for who they really are. However, narcissists at any age are incapable of extending unconditional love to other people, and so, trying to receive this kind of love from them is always a losing battle. The way to make peace with this situation with an aging narcissistic parent is to work with letting go of getting your needs met by them. Enlisting support and connecting with those who do see us and value us for the people we are is also essential. Subscribe to Lauren’s newsletter! https://laurensapala.com/newsletter/