Скачать с ютуб Dealing with unfair criticism gracefully: 4 strategies в хорошем качестве

Dealing with unfair criticism gracefully: 4 strategies

“All communication is either a loving response or a cry for help”, Tony Robbins/Marshall Rosenberg. Our body’s priority, above and beyond gaining pleasure, is to avoid pain. This has been shown in economics research (e.g. by Nobel laureate Danny Kahneman): loss aversion trumps the possibility of gain. It also means that we’re naturally inclined to react to a cry for help whether our own or someone else’s. What is criticism really about? Read more at www.doctoramina.com WARNING: The strategies in this video are suggestions to give you ideas for how you might handle it rather than something you would reproduce exactly. The idea is to stay present and use this as a shield in the moment. It is not a long term solution. The context, your overall intention or goal and your personal needs (as well as your assessment of the other person's) inform what you would do in reality. Let’s say someone comes up to you after a presentation and says: “I didn’t like your talk, I think your public speaking skills are terrible” and you sincerely feel that this is unfair. Resolve the tension and shift the energy by: Standing your ground by saying something like: “Hey, thanks for your feedback. I really enjoyed giving the talk but I might reflect on it.” The “might” is crucial because it keeps you in control of your experience and creates distance between you and them. Deflecting by saying something like: “Yes, it’s such a tough business we’re in isn’t it?” (deflecting onto the bigger picture and emphasising connection over separation) Redirecting it back at them by saying something like: "Thanks for pointing that out. Is this something that you’ve struggled with yourself? (Say this with genuine curiosity in which case they may start talking about themselves. If said with sarcasm it may start to look like a retaliation…) Posturing a little (through feigned stupidity) by saying something like: “I’m sorry, I didn’t get that. Could you repeat what you said?” Few people will. Retaliating: N/a. I wouldn’t recommend retaliating in any situation that is not physically violent, except through humour that can help to defuse the situation.  The only exception is if facts have been misrepresented, putting you professionally at risk, and you want to correct them on the spot. But beware, as this can just be a way to draw you into a confrontation or make you lose your composure and create a drama cycle. Remember that these are just examples. The quality you imbue your words with is more important than the words themselves as less than 93% of our communication is verbal. The WAY you say whatever you say is more important than the words themselves. Go to minute 3.40 of the video to see a demonstration of the tone I would use (everyone has their own style, of course) Pause, tune in to your body, acknowledge what’s going on and let wisdom guide your response - always from a place of presence and deep compassion for yourself and others.