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Lyrics: Cannibal chiefs chew Camembert cheese 'cause chewing keeps 'em cheeky Big Fat Fred sticks fur to his head 'cause he thinks fur makes him freaky Benjamin Bland and his Bugle Band blow the blues bi-weekly (Yee hoo hoo!) How many pies can a porpoise poise on purpose if she pleases? I got up at eight, it was half past two I said to myself, "Well, how do you do?" I've gotta get on, so I soon got off Stuck a clean shirt on, and had a good cough Back at the boozer, a bloke I knew Said he knew a secret no one knew He pinched some snuff, and he sniffed and sighed So I pinched his snout, and he replied, "Cannibal chiefs chew Camembert cheese 'cause chewing keeps 'em cheeky Big Fat Fred sticks fur to his head 'cause he thinks fur makes him freaky Benjamin Bland and his Bugle Band blow the blues bi-weekly How many pies can a porpoise poise on purpose if she pleases?" Here am I a sailor Seabirds fly above me Listen to their cry See them in the sky above me Here am I a sailor Fishes swim below me Even while I sleep Growing in the deep below me I rode a long worm to the end of the line I asked Tin Man if he'd tell me the time He took off his hat, and he took off his head Took off Max Bygraves, here's what he said, "You take first right and second left." The man in the moon says, "How's your chest?" The man in the sun says, "Have another one!" So we're all tanked up and singing along Cannibal chiefs chew camembert cheese 'cause chewing keeps 'em cheeky Big Fat Fred fixes fur to his head 'cause he thinks fur makes him freaky Benjamin Bland and his Bugle Band blow the blues bi-weekly (Mmmmm, mm) How many pies can a porpoise poise on purpose if she pleases?