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3 Steps to Manipulate a People-pleaser

People-pleasing involves grandiosity and catastrophizing: 1. "They are going be devastated and harmed if I say 'no'. I am that important to their lives and well-being" (grandiosity); and 2. "⁠If I say 'no', there will be disastrous consequences to me, especially emotionally, but maybe also in other ways (I will be making enemies)". This is catastrophising. These automatic thoughts are at the core of people pleasing and parentifying children: 1. My happiness is always at someone else’s expense (zero sum game); 2. I have to earn my happiness, I don’t deserve it; 3. I have to somehow bribe people to stay with me, collaborate with me, help me, or tolerate me because I am a bad object (unworthy, unlovable, crazy, inadequate, dissolute, hopeless, and so on). 4. I need to compromise on my boundaries and rights owing to all the above. Easy to manipulate people pleasers: their main motivation would be to please you. So, all you have to do is: 1. Communicate expectations; 2. ⁠Communicate pleasure when your expectations are met; and 3. ⁠Communicate profound disappointment - even heartbreak - when they fail to meet your expectations. Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60...

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