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The Brutal Truth About the No Contact Rule - Clay Andrews

Clay Andrews (from http://relationshipinnergame.com) discusses the No Contact Rule and the truth about it. If you’d like more advice to help you get the love life you want without the mind games, check out http://relationshipinnergame.com Learn more about how to communicate with your ex in this playlist I made detailing some effective texting strategies for talking with your ex. It’s over here:    • If Your Ex Is Ghosting You, Make This...   And of course, please also subscribe to our YouTube channel here:    / relationinnergame   ****** The uncomfortable truth about the no contact rule is that for many people out there it does not and will not work. Why doesn’t the no contact rule work? Because most people use it as a simple thing that they do, hoping that it will magically make their ex want to talk to them or get back together with them again. They don’t actually stop to understand what is happening a during No Contact. And what is happening is that you are giving your ex the opportunity to experience the consequence of their choice to leave you, plus you are also developing the possibility that interacting with you may actually start to feel good on an emotional level. Of course this isn’t going to happen on autopilot. You have to actually make the interactions feel good, and cutting contact, on it’s own isn’t going to do that, that’s where the Advanced Relational Skills that we teach inside of our courses. Remember, that if No Contact is going to work for you then you have to be the change that is going to make no contact work. No contact isn’t a magical cure all. It’s something that you do to create the space for a positive emotional connection that can actually bring you and your ex back together and give them a real good reason to want to get back together. Cutting contact with your ex, alone, is not going to do that. It’s what you do during that time of no contact that is going to determine if the interactions are going to feel good or if they are going to feel bad. That’s why so many people using passive no contact often struggle to connect with their ex. They are just showing their ex that nothing has changed and that is why they think no contact doesn’t work. The truth is that no contact works but you have to be the active factor in making it work by spending your time developing a damn good reason why your ex would want to get back together with you.