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Healing vs. Retaliation: Surviving Trauma and Sexual Abuse | Peter and Adenike Harris | TEDxPasadena

When the tragedy of sexual abuse struck Peter (“Pops”) and his daughter Adenike (“Ade”), they were faced with two life-altering paths: retaliate against Ade’s stepfather who had repeatedly sexually assaulted her from the time she was fourteen, or choose to strengthen their own relationship. Together, the two worked to create an inspiring system of support for one another that will change the way you think about love. Affectionately known as “Popsnade,” the father/daughter allies challenge, “What do you need to begin your healing foundation? Therapy? Non-abusive allies? Whatever you choose, it will require that you dig in. It hurts, it’s tough, and it is a consistent lifestyle change. But it is so worth it.” Peter and Adenike Harris, also known as Pops‘nAde, provide practical and loving lessons learned from years of courageous “call-and-response” dialogue that helped them heal in the years after Adenike revealed her stepfather had sexually abused her from the ages of 14 to 22. In the spirit of Lift Every Voice and Sing, Pops‘nAde reveal how they became thriving survivors through tears, candor, imagination, and even hard-won laughter. Pops‘nAde are 21st Century Conversation Starters and Healing Partners with a dynamic message: “We’re all worth healing and no silence is good that keeps you from talking to people who can help you.” Pops‘nAde are living examples, whose powerful service offers a roadmap to rich, loving, and inspiring non-abusive relationships. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx