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Lifeweb: Musket

I own a musket for home-defense, since that's what Tzchernobog intended. Four cerberii break into my house. "CRUDUX CRUO!!" As I grab my powder and rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first hound, he's dead on the spot. Draw my arbo on the second man, miss him entirely and nail the neighbor's Arelit because the pushers suppliers have gone to shit. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with bombardier pellets, "CRUOOOOOO STRAGANA MALACTOSEE!!" I say, as the shot shreds two dogs in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel setting off house alarms. I affix my bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He dozes out waiting on the snakes to arrive since festered wounds are impossible to stitch up.