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Final Fantasy VII Remake Review: It's terrible

Final Fantasy IX:    • Final Fantasy IX: RPG Retrospective   Final Fantasy VII Remake Review: FF7R is bad. It's time to admit it. While Final Fantasy VII was lightning in a bottle, Final Fantasy VII Remake is a spark in a vacuum. Square Enix has pulled out their trump card in an attempt to recapture the magic of their biggest hit ever, but will going back to the well have the same magnitude or impact as the game that defined the late 90s? I don't think so. It doesn't have the heart or the charm of its predecessor. The writers either fail or refuse to understand many elements of what made the original title such a huge hit. In this Final Fantasy VII Remake Review I address the game with scathing criticism. While some elements of this game are wonderful, the final package leaves much to be desired. 00:00 Intro 01:09 Managing Expectations 01:30 Lazy Title 02:55 Frequently asked questions 03:50 Where do we go from here? 04:25 Time travel nonsense 05:28 Making Final Fantasy VII a franchise all its own 06:19 The PS3 Tech Demo 07:35 "We are never remaking Final Fantasy VII because it will be too expensive" 08:23 Square Enix's stock rollercoaster 10:51 Selling you lots and lots of things 12:25 Business perspective: Printing money 13:35 No one has ever said there would be 3 parts 14:18 Stretched out content 15:30 Midgar Modernized: Excellent visual design 16:58 The Magic of Materia: A deep and rewarding system 17:47 Balance and Freedom: Character guilds and abilities 18:50 Weapon upgrades: Tedious and unnecessary 19:11 Padding: Tedious sidequests 19:28 The Dialogue is aggressively cringe-inducing 19:52 Who is this for? 20:26 Jessie is obnoxious 21:08 Bad writing 23:58 Midgar is a series of tubes 24:44 They already have your money 25:42 They ruined the design and world building 27:58 They absolutely butchered the story 30:35 The fighting in the game sucks 36:53 Conclusion Gameplay footage by LongplayArchive:    / @longplayarchive   Bezels by The Bezel Project: https://github.com/thebezelproject/Be... Theme song by Mega Metal Man    / megametalman   Support Risky Bitness on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=26752775 Get your very own Risky Bitness Swag: https://www.redbubble.com/people/risk... Please support the channel by purchasing this gear with my affiliate links! Player One Coffee - Get 5% off your order with this link: http://playeronecoffee.refr.cc/daniel... Classic consoles! NES classic: https://amzn.to/3bA1Q3A SNES Classic: https://amzn.to/3dIQnzY Genesis Classic: https://amzn.to/3cD947Y Turbografx Mini: https://amzn.to/364MPpc Playstation Classic: https://amzn.to/2zIU7CK Retropie starter kit: https://amzn.to/2WA9cQb Need a controller? These are the best on the market for classic and modern consoles as well as retropie, fire tv stick and android! 8bitdo SN30 Pro +: https://amzn.to/2LBzjjy 8bitdo SN30 Pro: https://amzn.to/3cD9onc 8bitdo SN30: https://amzn.to/3bF0ODg Free downloads! Launchbox: https://www.launchbox-app.com/ Retroarch: https://www.retroarch.com/ PCSX2: https://pcsx2.net/download/releases/w... Follow me on Social Media! Facebook:   / risky-bitness-119262446136854   Twitter:   / riskybitnessyt   Twitch:   / riskybitness   COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: Risky Bitness is an original program that occasionally uses copyrighted works for the purposes of education, satire and review. All copyrighted works are used in good faith pursuant to 17 U.S.C. § 106, 17 U.S.C. § 106A and 17 U.S.C. §?107. When using published works we make every effort to credit the original author. If you see something of yours in a video and have not been credited, please contact me and I will make sure you are credited for your work. COPA DISCLAIMER: Risky Bitness explores history, trivia and tech with respect to video games from the 1980s and 1990s and while we strive to keep our content familiy friendly, it is intended for an adult audience. If you are age 13 or under, please get a parent's permission before watching this video. Join The Gaming Dungeon on Facebook:   / thegamingdungeon